Using Play to Teach Kids about Diversity and Race

By Ellen Lambert, interim executive director of The Toy Foundation and former chief diversity officer at Public Service Enterprise Group

With millions of people around the world protesting racism, many parents are looking for ways to engage their children in discussions about race. We sat down with Ellen Lambert, an expert with 25 years of culture change, corporate responsibility, and community relations experience, to talk about how parents can use play, whether it be with toys, through art, with music, or with other activities, to teach kids of all ages about race.

Q. What is the right age to start talking to your child about race? How can parents approach the subject with younger kids?

EL: Children begin learning at birth. They learn from touch, song, watching, interaction with parents and siblings, and soon develop self-understanding. Before they learn about the race of others, they learn about themselves – how do others perceive me and how do I identify myself and my family, my caregivers, and what they look like. Once they are playing with other children and begin to notice sameness and different-ness, talking about race and differences can easily start. Positive conversations about differences in their friends or playmates, and people in their lives and neighborhood, helps move into direct discussions about race as a child grows.

Beyond conversations, what are some proactive steps parents and caregivers can take to have a real impact on their local communities – and along the way, further teach their children about tolerance, racial bias, and the importance of diversity & inclusion?

EL: Ensure that children play with kids who are different races, follow different religions, and have different abilities. Visit their play environments, like the park, their preschool, and the local Y. Participate with them or enroll them in sports, art, and music activities for young children where diversity is evident, easy, and the norm. Teach them about the totality of their communities and the differences they see there.

What are some of the tools parents can use to teach their children about diversity? Is play an effective way to approach the subject?

EL: Talk about children's experiences in the community with friends who are different. Talk to them about their own race and its history, then talk about the children who are different and about the history of their differences, race, physical ability, gender, etc. Use books, games, handheld animals, and dolls. Read and act out the stories of children and animals who are different. Emphasize values that create equity, not competition, nor make any one difference higher or lower, nor better or worse. Play is universal, so make your child's play universal. You can also look at your child's teacher as a way to explore diversity. Ask her or him how he or she includes diversity in the curriculum and in everyday activities.

Can you share examples of play activities parents can do with their kids to help them build respect and tolerance for people of different genders, races, cultures, abilities, etc.?

EL: Read books about diverse children and act out the stories, role-playing and posing questions about your child's life and the life of the characters you are focusing upon. Do art, music, cooking, and other activities together that are from different cultures, then go to museums to learn more about the arts of those cultures. Talk about race on those visits and enjoy the wonderful things created by different cultures. Bring home and use some of those playful learnings and games. Learn what games children from other countries play and what toys they play with. Then learn about the toys and games that all children play with. These activities have a positive impact on adults as well, so be sure to include aunts, uncles, and anyone else who would enjoy and/or benefit from a positive exploration of diversity and culture.

Does play have a place in conversations about diversity and racism with older kids, e.g. pre-teens and teens? How can play make these conversations more productive?

EL: Most definitely, and because of the protests going on across the country, these discussions are important to have. Learn what is being discussed in the classroom about racism and oppression. Build off those conversations, intentionally, not casually. Talk about slavery and the history of black people in this country. Get reading materials, and use movies, plays, music, museums, and community organizations to experience what is happening now.

Ask your children to solve the problem in a way that resonates with them. Role play and find games, books, and experiences that tell the story of racism and encourage questions and use experiences to answer those questions. Remind older children that we are all the human race. Racism was a created construct to put some people higher up and keep some people lower down. Use history to illustrate that point, and find examples from your own racial history, as well.